A woman had been counting the moments until she could walk down the aisle, uniting her destiny with her beloved partner for a lifetime. Yet, in a shocking twist of fate, the day that should have been the pinnacle of her existence crumbled to dust, all thanks to the very man who was meant to stand by her side. The burning question lingered: What drove him to forsake their sacred vows?
In October 2022, a Reddit post made its way to the “Best of Redditor Updates” forum, initially shared in March 2021 on the “Relationship Advice” subreddit. According to the original post, a 29-year-old woman found herself on the verge of marrying her then-fiancé, J, sometime in 2017.
Everything appeared to be falling perfectly into place. She was dressed in her bridal gown, makeup impeccably applied, and had taken photographs with her bridesmaids. She was moments away from taking her walk down the aisle when J’s best man abruptly pulled her aside, revealing that he had vanished. Apparently, J had hopped into a car and driven away, and nobody could reach him.
Returning to their apartment, the woman discovered that J had packed up all of his belongings and disappeared from her life entirely. She grappled with the pain and confusion of the situation, ultimately seeking solace in a decision to go on her honeymoon with her best friends, followed by therapy to address the profound trust issues that had arisen from this traumatic experience.
For quite some time, J remained a distant memory until an unexpected development occurred. It turned out that he had reconnected with an old mutual friend, who gave him the woman’s contact information. J wrote her a message four years later, expressing his desire to meet and apologize, asserting that he had much to clarify regarding the events of that fateful day.
Meanwhile, the woman found herself torn; she had long believed J to be a chapter of her past. However, her curiosity and the need for closure persisted. Taking into consideration her supportive current boyfriend, she contemplated ghosting J out of respect for her present relationship, recognizing the incredible support he had provided.
The woman felt lost and conflicted, grappling with a situation she never expected to encounter again. She felt unsure about the best course of action and sought guidance from the Reddit community.
A month after her original post, the woman expressed gratitude for the advice and support she had garnered online. She also noted how her sister reminded her of the Reddit thread, prompting her to provide a final update to everyone who had followed her story.
Despite the advice against it, the original poster decided to meet up with J, her ex-fiancé, as part of a 12-step program. During their conversation at a park, it became evident that the meeting added no value to her life. She attended the meeting with her current boyfriend, who remained nearby during their conversation.
The meeting left her feeling perplexed and disillusioned. It was revealed that, during the last year of their relationship, J had been using drugs and cheating on her. He had also been struggling with his sexuality, which contributed to their breakup. His family’s homophobia had played a role in keeping them together for significant events like their wedding.
As the wedding date neared, J chose his boyfriend over her, leading to his sudden departure. He had tried to quit drugs but couldn’t, and his boyfriend left him after discovering his continued drug use. Tragically, one of his regular hookups overdosed and died while they were together, prompting J to seek sobriety.
J apologized for his dishonesty and expressed regret for not being honest about his sexuality. He acknowledged that the original poster would have been the most accepting of his true self. However, despite her forgiveness, she chose to cut off contact with him.
Upon returning home, OP found comfort in her current boyfriend’s support and a favorite takeout meal. This experience, while challenging, ultimately led her to appreciate her present relationship.
The woman’s story gained significant traction online, sparking a multitude of responses from Reddit users who offered their perspectives on the situation. One commenter emphasized that the ex-fiancé’s actions, including having an affair and disappearing with his partner, were inexcusable, regardless of his reasons. They pointed out the harm caused to someone he had publicly claimed to be his “best friend.”
Another expressed support for the woman, suggesting she should maintain no contact with her ex. They praised her current boyfriend as a genuinely good person and wished them the best.
A user acknowledged that the ex-fiancé’s upbringing might provide some context but stressed that it did not excuse his actions. They hoped he would undergo significant self-improvement, not only for his sake but for others in his life.
Another commenter also praised the woman’s current boyfriend, describing him as a keeper. They highlighted that, as traumatic as the situation had been, it was a relief she didn’t marry her ex.
Lastly, a user questioned the concept of making amends in this context, suggesting that the ex’s actions appeared more like offering excuses than genuine restitution. They also raised the point that apologies, in cases like this, often hold little value without more substantial actions to make amends.